By- Praggananda Sraman
It was a very meaningful counselling session with Iwona. She came in to the counselling room with her own a cup of tea. I asked her about her situation “What’s going on?” very nicely, and she responded me with a smile, she looked so confident. What I mean to say confident is because she said “you are being a monk, so you might be able to be a good counsellor, and solve out my problems.” I found myself that part of a counselling session in counselling room is important that a client trusts the counsellor. And I myself was so encouraged with this complement and to carry out the session
There is another reason that I said she looked so confident that she knew what the problems she is having. Very firmly, she acclaimed that “I’m suffering from Procrastination.”
I said with a smile “Procrastination!!” is not a big problem that you can suffer so much (?)! This comment I also tried to used as a probe, but, still I myself believe that this is not such a major psychological problem that we need to expend our time and energy for it to discuss. Why so? I will explain shortly in the conclusion of this writing.
But, I did see how she was disturbed by the so called procrastination.
She kept saying “I want to get involve with things like party, seminar, community group, some kind of social gathering. But most of the time I can’t make up in time. Most of the time I make decision at the last moment.”
I asked her whether she is so much organized or having the lac
k of organize. Then she said “I could be 
so organized person.”..since she was living as a single mother quite a long while with two growing up children, full time works, family priority, so much organized.
She is good with big decision but in some SMALL decision is not that good. She feels that she is so procrastinator.
To keep our conversation in the point and to check it out I asked her again “What is your explanation of procrastination could be?” I was listening very reflectively on her way of expression. My e
mpathy was so touchable that I felt myself. With the scattered smile she was showing me her diary, said “Look this, this is an invitation of the workshop that I like so much. I already noted it on my diary, time is not so much, but I haven’t enrolled yet, but I want to attend this workshop for 99.9% sure. (Wow, in this case, really the procrastination could be a problem).
She said that sometime she is not strong enough to decide but none of them wants to miss.
In summarising, sometimes I asked her whether she is restless or not relaxed. Answer was “I m felling so preoccupied.”
Then I asked her what kind of pers
on she likes to be in this case, and what is her fulfilment. She responded so wisely saying that she has enough fulfilment, now this is the time for her to looking on the self accomplishment and self discovering!
We both were so active in the counselling session and committed ourselves to manage the situation what ever it’s come out. A kind of challenging!
I asked her what she wants now instead of what she doesn’t want. The answer was that she wants to be 
organized every time but it crowds her mind. The word “WANT” that I took for my further consideration. Her WANTS now so positive and wise, so there was nothing to oppose but appreciation. At that point asked her how much realistic is she or whether she wants to be more realistic. She is realistic, and she wanted to be more realistic. She also confessed that “We can’t have all what we want to.”
In the challenging point, I asked her “What would be the benefits of being non-procrastinated?” she said that she would have lot of benefits from it. Not being so restless, worried, being relaxed, well prepared, and enjoying the moment that where she wants to be, much more i
nvolving with the community. Meanwhile, I asked her whether she is feeling lonely or the lack of family. She is fine with this, and she covers it being with involvements.
She is really looking for the meaning of
her life, and that’s such a wise!
I said her to look the situation in different ways if she has any other options. We both saw there were many other options, which we could work out. Very positive!
I asked her in this situation if there is any body that could be helpful, or to take the person as a model. She only saw me in this case, and we had some fun.
Do you think you are doing enough? I asked her.
O yap, I m doing more than enough, but just being hard with situation. She answered.
She asked me “Is this normal?”
Now, Dear Reader, may I ask you “What do you think? Is this normal?
Yes, it is normal as I have mentioned earlier. But, but, as I have seen how she was being so disturbed by the procrastination. It could be a cause of a major problem, too.
Oh yea, I should mention that she had to extend the submission of the assignment to college. I found it was the effect of procrastination.
She opened for suggestions. I haven’t found any drugs; is there any drug for this?
I suggested her to keep herself sometime quiet and alone only
with her mind-body-feeling. No worries, no works, no planning that time. Yes, this is called meditation, in west. In east we say mind culturing, mind calming, mind developing, mind cultivating, mind purifying.
Yes, the matter is to save the time for that, and the preparation for that. 24 hours a day, save 1 minute from each hour, and it’s become 24 minutes. If u think this is too heavy to carry out red
uce it in to 12 minutes. With relaxed body and mind sit som
e where which is comfortable for you, and then reflect on the mind, the feeling, the self you find, what and who are you? What are you doing? How much you did? How did you do that? Is it not enough? Why? Why not? Then, if you need help with just write down with a pen on paper. Then you could see your procrastination is there. Then you could negotiate with the procrastination yourself.
It is not only good for daily life happiness, but also for your insight and spirituality.
Now, I would like to tell about procrastination shortly, as I have promised earlier.
Procrastination
The word itself comes from the Latin word PROCRASTINATUS, PRO (forward) and CRASTINUS is (of tomorrow).
Procrastination is a quite complex psychological behaviour that affects almost everyone to some degree or other. According to individual response it can be a minor or major. With some others it is a source of considerable stress and anxiety.
Procrastinator is always optimistic, usually this is accompanied by expression of reassurance that everything is under control.
Some kind of expression can be heard from a procrastin
ator-
· I only work well under pressure
· I’m so preoccupied always
· I’m fine, its just hard a bit for me
Other Characteristics-
· Low Self-Confidence
· I’m too Busy
· Stubbornness
· Manipulation
· Coping with Pressures
· A Frustrated Victim
Four Simple Reasons for Procrastination
· Difficulty
· Time- Consuming
· Lack of Knowledge
§ Fears
Four Complex reasons for Procrastination
· Perfectionism
· Anger/ Aversion
· Low Frustration Tolerance
· Self-Downing
Benefits of Overcoming Procrastination
· Peace of mind
· A feeling of strength and Purpose
· Healthy feeling of being in charge of life
· Experiencing increased personal freedom
The Inner Workings of Procrastination
A- Activating Events
B- Belief System
C- Consequence
Watch up them with you! they are with you!
Step to the Cure
1. Realize you are delaying something unnecessarily
2. Discover the real reasons for your delay. Listen them.
3. Dispute those real reasons and overcome them. Be vigorous.
4. Begin the task
5. Practice what you’ve learned. Take helps from pen -
papers, note them on. I’m delaying on… because, reasons for delay and arguments against delay.
Some Kits that will help
· Make the tasks look small and easy in your mind.
· Small part of the task each time is fine, do little by little.
· Plans, five-minutes, 10 minutes,, so on
· Advertise your plans to accomplish something, and let peer pressure push you forward.
· Use a good friend as a positive role model
· Modify your environment
· Plan tomorrow and establish priority
· Expect some backsliding. Don’t expect to be perfect even when you’re trying to get rid of perfectionism! So occasionally, your plans will not work. Accept setbacks and start again.
An Insight
Procrastination is reinforcing, every time you delay, it reinforces your negative attitude toward the task. Every time you put off something you dislike, so you-
· Strengthen the habit of not doing;
· Practice avoidance instead participation
· Avoid acquiring training and skills, and
· Indoctrinate yourself with fears
Try not to make or have any excuse for any task doing.
Insightful
There is golden chance to enlighten your mind. Practice meditation on this point. See how greatly we can reduce the influences of procrastination in our lives. By this, we experience more self-freedom, the greater personal self satisfactions.
