Counselling Session

An Outlook on th e Counselling Session

By- Praggananda Sraman

It was a very meaningful counselling session with Iwona. She came in to the counselling room with her own a cup of tea. I asked her about her situation “What’s going on?” very nicely, and she responded me with a smile, she looked so confident. What I mean to say confident is because she said “you are being a monk, so you might be able to be a good counsellor, and solve out my problems.” I found myself that part of a counselling session in counselling room is important that a client trusts the counsellor. And I myself was so encouraged with this complement and to carry out the session

There is another reason that I said she looked so confident that she knew what the problems she is having. Very firmly, she acclaimed that “I’m suffering from Procrastination.”

I said with a smile “Procrastination!!” is not a big problem that you can suffer so much (?)! This comment I also tried to used as a probe, but, still I myself believe that this is not such a major psychological problem that we need to expend our time and energy for it to discuss. Why so? I will explain shortly in the conclusion of this writing.

But, I did see how she was disturbed by the so called procrastination.

She kept saying “I want to get involve with things like party, seminar, community group, some kind of social gathering. But most of the time I can’t make up in time. Most of the time I make decision at the last moment.”

I asked her whether she is so much organized or having the lac

k of organize. Then she said “I could be so organized person.”..since she was living as a single mother quite a long while with two growing up children, full time works, family priority, so much organized.

She is good with big decision but in some SMALL decision is not that good. She feels that she is so procrastinator.

To keep our conversation in the point and to check it out I asked her again “What is your explanation of procrastination could be?” I was listening very reflectively on her way of expression. My e

mpathy was so touchable that I felt myself. With the scattered smile she was showing me her diary, said “Look this, this is an invitation of the workshop that I like so much. I already noted it on my diary, time is not so much, but I haven’t enrolled yet, but I want to attend this workshop for 99.9% sure. (Wow, in this case, really the procrastination could be a problem).

She said that sometime she is not strong enough to decide but none of them wants to miss.

In summarising, sometimes I asked her whether she is restless or not relaxed. Answer was “I m felling so preoccupied.”

Then I asked her what kind of pers

on she likes to be in this case, and what is her fulfilment. She responded so wisely saying that she has enough fulfilment, now this is the time for her to looking on the self accomplishment and self discovering!

We both were so active in the counselling session and committed ourselves to manage the situation what ever it’s come out. A kind of challenging!

I asked her what she wants now instead of what she doesn’t want. The answer was that she wants to be organized every time but it crowds her mind. The word “WANT” that I took for my further consideration. Her WANTS now so positive and wise, so there was nothing to oppose but appreciation. At that point asked her how much realistic is she or whether she wants to be more realistic. She is realistic, and she wanted to be more realistic. She also confessed that “We can’t have all what we want to.”

In the challenging point, I asked her “What would be the benefits of being non-procrastinated?” she said that she would have lot of benefits from it. Not being so restless, worried, being relaxed, well prepared, and enjoying the moment that where she wants to be, much more i

nvolving with the community. Meanwhile, I asked her whether she is feeling lonely or the lack of family. She is fine with this, and she covers it being with involvements.

She is really looking for the meaning of

her life, and that’s such a wise!

I said her to look the situation in different ways if she has any other options. We both saw there were many other options, which we could work out. Very positive!

I asked her in this situation if there is any body that could be helpful, or to take the person as a model. She only saw me in this case, and we had some fun.

Do you think you are doing enough? I asked her.

O yap, I m doing more than enough, but just being hard with situation. She answered.

She asked me “Is this normal?”

Now, Dear Reader, may I ask you “What do you think? Is this normal?

Yes, it is normal as I have mentioned earlier. But, but, as I have seen how she was being so disturbed by the procrastination. It could be a cause of a major problem, too.

Oh yea, I should mention that she had to extend the submission of the assignment to college. I found it was the effect of procrastination.

She opened for suggestions. I haven’t found any drugs; is there any drug for this?

I suggested her to keep herself sometime quiet and alone only

with her mind-body-feeling. No worries, no works, no planning that time. Yes, this is called meditation, in west. In east we say mind culturing, mind calming, mind developing, mind cultivating, mind purifying.

Yes, the matter is to save the time for that, and the preparation for that. 24 hours a day, save 1 minute from each hour, and it’s become 24 minutes. If u think this is too heavy to carry out red

uce it in to 12 minutes. With relaxed body and mind sit some where which is comfortable for you, and then reflect on the mind, the feeling, the self you find, what and who are you? What are you doing? How much you did? How did you do that? Is it not enough? Why? Why not? Then, if you need help with just write down with a pen on paper. Then you could see your procrastination is there. Then you could negotiate with the procrastination yourself.

It is not only good for daily life happiness, but also for your insight and spirituality.

Now, I would like to tell about procrastination shortly, as I have promised earlier.

Procrastination

The word itself comes from the Latin word PROCRASTINATUS, PRO (forward) and CRASTINUS is (of tomorrow).

Procrastination is a quite complex psychological behaviour that affects almost everyone to some degree or other. According to individual response it can be a minor or major. With some others it is a source of considerable stress and anxiety.

Procrastinator is always optimistic, usually this is accompanied by expression of reassurance that everything is under control.

Some kind of expression can be heard from a procrastin

ator-

· I only work well under pressure

· I’m so preoccupied always

· I’m fine, its just hard a bit for me

Other Characteristics-

· Low Self-Confidence

· I’m too Busy

· Stubbornness

· Manipulation

· Coping with Pressures

· A Frustrated Victim

Four Simple Reasons for Procrastination

· Difficulty

· Time- Consuming

· Lack of Knowledge

§ Fears

Four Complex reasons for Procrastination

· Perfectionism

· Anger/ Aversion

· Low Frustration Tolerance

· Self-Downing

Benefits of Overcoming Procrastination

· Peace of mind

· A feeling of strength and Purpose

· Healthy feeling of being in charge of life

· Experiencing increased personal freedom

The Inner Workings of Procrastination

A- Activating Events

B- Belief System

C- Consequence

Watch up them with you! they are with you!

Step to the Cure

1. Realize you are delaying something unnecessarily

2. Discover the real reasons for your delay. Listen them.

3. Dispute those real reasons and overcome them. Be vigorous.

4. Begin the task

5. Practice what you’ve learned. Take helps from pen -

papers, note them on. I’m delaying on… because, reasons for delay and arguments against delay.

Some Kits that will help

· Make the tasks look small and easy in your mind.

· Small part of the task each time is fine, do little by little.

· Plans, five-minutes, 10 minutes,, so on

· Advertise your plans to accomplish something, and let peer pressure push you forward.

· Use a good friend as a positive role model

· Modify your environment

· Plan tomorrow and establish priority

· Expect some backsliding. Don’t expect to be perfect even when you’re trying to get rid of perfectionism! So occasionally, your plans will not work. Accept setbacks and start again.

An Insight

Procrastination is reinforcing, every time you delay, it reinforces your negative attitude toward the task. Every time you put off something you dislike, so you-

· Strengthen the habit of not doing;

· Practice avoidance instead participation

· Avoid acquiring training and skills, and

· Indoctrinate yourself with fears

Try not to make or have any excuse for any task doing.

Insightful

There is golden chance to enlighten your mind. Practice meditation on this point. See how greatly we can reduce the influences of procrastination in our lives. By this, we experience more self-freedom, the greater personal self satisfactions.

Or may be you can have some fun of being a procrastinator with yourself. This is a life game!

The Moments are in the Pictures

World Buddhist Heritage in Bangladesh!

Due to its geographical situation the entire region of Bengal, including the Paharpur Buddhist Vihara, has been one of the vital links between India and Southeast Asia since ancient times.

With the flourishing of trade and cultural exchange Buddhism entered from India in the 5th century and its religious influence gradually increased.

This region witnessed the ascendance of the Pala Dynasty in the 8th century, whose rule continued until the 12th century. The first King Gopala of the Pala Dynasty established a unified power in the Bengal region. Then the most prominent political power in India at that time was achieved under the rule of the succeeding second King Dharmapala. Later, in the period of the third King Devapala, the region experienced the peak of its prosperity.

Buddhism attained its last major developments in India at that time under these Pala Dynasty Kings, who embraced and protected the Buddhist ideals. The successive kings established many Buddhist temples. The Vikrashiya temple in the Bihar State of northern India and the Paharpur Buddhist Vihara were built under the second King Dharmapala. It is said that when Buddhism was the prevailing religion in the area, practicing Buddhist monks gathered in their endeavours for enlightenment, but Buddhism itself was gradually being forced out by the increasing influence of the Hinduism and it started to show signs of decline.

Evidence of the rise of Mahayana Buddhism in Bengal from the 7th century onwards, this monastery, known as Somapura Mahavira, the Great Monastery, was a renowned intellectual centre until the 17th century. Its layout perfectly adapted to its religious function, this monastery-city represents a unique artistic achievement which influenced Buddhist architecture as far away as Cambodia, with its simple and harmonious lines and its many carved decorations.

The monastery is distinguished by its unique uniform style of architecture. The terracotta plaques of musicians, snake charmers and animal, etc., decorating the outer walls of the temple depict the life of common people who lived a thousand years ago.

Then with the advancing influence of the Islam from the last part of the 12th century to the 13th century, the Buddhism in this area reached its point of devastation. The ruins of the Buddhist Vihara were discovered by Buchanan Hamilton, who visited the site in the early 19th century whilst surveying this area for the East India Company. After that Alexander Cunningham, the first Director of the Archaeological Survey of India and often called "the father of the Indian Archaeology", had a plan to excavate the Vihara in 1879, but the landlord did not give him his permission.

In 1923 the excavation was started at last by the initiative of the Archaeological Survey of India. This excavation continued until 1934 and the devoted work of K. N. Dikshit, one of the senior officers of the Survey, and others achieved the tremendous result to clarify the whole structure of the Vihara. Continued excavation and conservation activities showed that the degradation was becoming a problem, so the Government of Bangladesh started to request assistance and contribution to such kinds of activities from international resources. At the 21st UNESCO General Conference held in November 1980, a resolution was adopted to take up the ruins of the Buddhist Vihara at Paharpur and the Historic Mosque City of Bagerhat, Bangladesh, as target heritage sites for the UNESCO's international campaign to safeguard the cultural heritage. In accordance with this decision a UNESCO mission visited Bangladesh from February through March 1982 with the support of the United Nations Development Programme (UNDP) and a master plan for the conservation of both heritage sites was completed in 1983. The international safeguarding campaign officially commenced in 1985 when Paharpur Buddhist Vihara was included in the World Heritage List.

Atish Dipankara

The proud son of Bangladesh

Atish Dipankara was born in 980 AD in the royal family of Bajrajogini at Bikrampur, Dhaka. He was known as Chandragarbha in his boyhood. His father was Kalyansree and mother was Pravabati. At his early age he studied five minor sciences under the guidance of Jeteri, a great scholar of that time. He also studied important literature of Hinayana (Theravada) and Mahayana schools. Dipankara studied meditative science at Krisnagiri (moder Kanheri, India) from Rahulagupta. He conferred on him the title of Guhajyanavajra. At the age of 19 he took the sacred vow the Odantapuri monastery from Silarakkhit and received the name Dipankara Sreejyana. At the age of 31 he was ordained as Bhikkhu from Dhrarmarakshita.

In the east Suvarnadipa was an important seat of Buddhism at that time. Chandrakirti was the highest priest of Suvarnadipa. Dipankara went there and studied Buddhism under his guidance for about 12 years and returned to Magadha. On his way back he visited Tamradipa (Sri Lanka).

His name and fame began to spread all over India. Mahipala The king of Bengal (Bangladesh invited him and offered the post of the high priest of the Vikramsila Monastery. Vikramsila was at that time a great center of Buddhist learning and was one of the greatest Buddhist university of this region. It attained the greatest patronage of the Pala kings of Bengal and within a short period it reached to its highest peak of glory. It was a residential seat of learning. The university had 108 teachers and 8 thousands students. The students were from Kasmir, Gandhara, Turkey, Ujjani, Benaras used to flock there. Logic, Religion, Metaphysics, Science were the subjects. Dipankara was the principal of the university. It achieved tremendous success during his time.

About the middle of the 11^th century AD the pious Buddhist king of Tibet Lha Lama Ye-seehod wanted to reform Buddhism in Tibet which was debased by Tantric and Bon mysticism. The king sent a mission to Vikramsila to invite Dipankara to his kingdom. They appeared before him and accorded invitation accordingly. Dipankara replied “It seems to me that my going to Tibet would be due to causes; firstly the desire of amassing gold, secondly the wish of gaining sainthood by loving of others, but I must say that I have no necessity for gold nor any anxiety for the second.”

The Tibetan went back to their country without Dipankara. At that time the Tibetan king was taken to prison by the king of Garlog in the Nepal frontier. The king died in the prison and before his death sent messages to Dipankara through his successor. After his death his successor King Chan Chub sent another Tibetan mission to Vikramsila with the letter of the king.

Tshul Khrim-gyalwa, the leader of the delegation wanted to know the opinion of Ratnakara, the deputy chief of the Vikramsila on the issue of Dipankara’s visit to Tibet. Ratnakar discouraged the idea and remarked “in the absence of Dipankara no other scholar would be able to guide the moral discipline of the monks”. He holds the key to many monasteries in Magadha. It would be great loss if we loose his venerable presence. “In due course Ratnakara could realize the condition that he would return to Vikramsila within 3 years. He also remarked “without Dipankara India will be in darkness.”

Saivas, baishnavas and kapilas did not like that Dipankara should reform Buddhism in Tibet. They chalked out a conspiracy and engaged some robbers to assassinate him as soon as he crossed the India border. The robbers, when saw the saintly appearance of the teacher became moved and could not raise their hands against him. As soon as Dipankara entered Nepal a local chief engaged some brigands to rob him. It is reported that Dipankara averted the danger by some mystic charms.

Dipankara met Anathakirti the king of Nepal . He presented an elephant to the king. The king in gratitude laid the foundation of monastery called Thanvihara. His son Padmaprava was ordained as a monk by Dipankara, he accompanied to Tibet.

Dipankara was received by the officers and army of the king of Tibet in the Tibet frontier. He took rest the bank of Manas Sarabora for a week. Finally he reached Tibet with his accompanies. He was accorded a grand reception by the king Chan Chub in the capital.

Dipankara started moving place to place province to province and preached Buddhism there. Bromton the founder of the first hierarchy in Tibet, recognized his as his preceptor and became his disciple. Dipankara succeeded in reforming Tibetan Buddhism. He also succeeded in eliminating Tantric elements from the Buddhism there.

Formally the Tibetan used to believe in many superstitions, and were engaged in killings, sacrifices, and rituals. They were engaged in immoral activities. All these could be reformed by Dipankara. According to the historian Dipankara preached Mahayana Buddhism there, said, that he gave a thoroughly spiritual turn in the minds of Tibetans. His holy life, amiable character, and high spiritual knowledge extended deep influence over the people of Tibet. Mr. Haraprasad Shastri a great Bengal scholar of present age, said that Dipankara took tremendous trouble in his old age to reform Buddhism in Tibet and could be able to convert Tibetan into Buddhist. Even today thousands of Tibetans honor him as their god. Many think that he is responsible for the spiritual development of Tibetans. He is undoubtedly the glorious son of Bangladesh. Dipankara could remember his previous birth. Once he narrated his previous life at the firm preaching. Tibetans used to hear this story with deep respect and devotion. It is to be mentioned that Rhin-chanjangpo did not pay proper respect o Dipankara thinking himself wise and superior. But later he was deeply moved by the scholarly knowledge of Dipankara and showed him due respect. From an inscription we have come to know that Laug-po developed his spiritual mind the guidance of Dipankara.

Among his disciple Dom-Ton Pa was the chief. He was his constant companion. He can be compared with Ananda the personal companion of the Buddha. He was a scholar of highest order. He glorified not only the Tibet but also the world. The cap which is used by the Lamas of Tibet was introduced by Dipankara in Tibet. Dipankara was the ardent devotee of Tara and 16 Mahastavers. He introduced their worship in Tibet.

Dipankara made glorious contribution to the Tibetan literature. He wrote 83 books on Sanskrit of whom 22 were translated into Tibetan. It is to be mentioned that king Dharmapala of Subarnabhumi wrote a long letter to dipankara raising some difficult questions on religion. Dipankara answered those questions on a book named “Bimal ratna Lekhan”.

Dipankara established one great library in Tibet. It is a matter of great misfortune that this library has been destroyed. He also established a Buddhist monastery in Mye Thaug. Once it was the famous seat for learning. Fifty Pandits used to reside in that monastery. In the field of politics also he had great influence. He solved many problems in state. He had also great influence over the kings at that time.

According to the proposal of Ratnakar, Dipankara could not return to Vikramsila within three years. He was deeply engaged in reforming Buddhism and writing books. He was so busy that he could not return. He spent 13 years in Tibet and died there in 1053AD at age of 73. though he introduced Lamaship in Tibet yet he did not take the title of Lama. After his death his principal disciple Dom-Ton at first took the title of Lama. Since Lamaship has been introduced in Tibet.

Tibetans even today pay deep respect to Dipankara. If any pilgrims recalls the name of Dipankara, Tibetans stand up from their seat, show respect and devotion by bowing down their heads. Dr. Diensh Chandra Sen wrote that “Dipankara a Bengalee of east Bengal (Present Bagnladesh) achieved highest reputation on the world at that time. The king and queen of Nepal were loyal to him and eagerly waited for his advices, respect him and his place in unparallel. It is heard that the powerful kings of China also showed deep devotion to Dipankara. His memory is still cherished by the Buddhists of the world. Dipankara was a proud son of Bangladesh